authentifuckation
Gritty slang for the absurd and insanity-provoking multi-step process that is part of doing anything online these days in order to prove beyond any possible doubt that you are in fact you.
After multiple attempts to get into my own phone in a moment of panicked need, the authentifuckation process got the best of me and I needed to be placed on a 5150 hold when I began repeatedly bashing my iPhone against a building and screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs.