Mental Hand Job
1. Modern American politics; 2. Ex-girlfriend explaining why you should take her back; 3. Anything uttered by a public defender.
When Sandy said, "But babe, I was drunk, and he didn't mean anything. I love you so much, and I'm so horny right now, couldn't I just come in for one glass of wine?" Larry thought, "Jesus, that was the best mental hand job I've ever experienced."