Merinsomnia

Merinsomnia is most frequently described as difficulty sleeping arising from the knowledge that you could be playing Meridian 59, but are instead laying sideways with your eyes open. It is also sometimes accompanied by short 5 minute episodes in which you fall asleep but quickly wake up again after dreaming you were playing Meridian 59. Patients suffering from Merinsomnia are easily identified by their blood shot eyes and slow rocking back and forth while they huddle in the corner of their room in the fetal position.

There have been many speculated causes of Merinsomnia, but the scientific community has not yet come to a consensus as to what causes it.

Symptoms include: Headaches, hot flashes, sweating, tremors, dry mouth, kidney stones, diarrhea, screaming, swamp ass, irritable bowel syndrome, excessive cursing, powdery white upper lip, scratching of the face and chest, backhanding your annoying children, larping at work, not showing up to work, body odor, anti social behavior, and breath that smells like a combination of dead fish and mango chutney.