Autozoned

When a guy talks to a girl and AUTOMATICALLY gets put into the FRIENDZONE. Usually happening to the nice guys, and usually happening soon after meeting.

An employee of the Autozone Corporation that is expected to know everything about your shit green Plymouth Voyager or your decaying Nissan Maxima that has thirty different engine codes, a missing fender, and various dings and dents covering its decrepit body. An autozoner must be a first-class bullshitter to conjure such ridiculous answers to questions like “what the fuck do you mean I can’t get a valve cover gasket for my Daewoo Lanos?!” or the ever so popular caliper bracket for any given jalopy. Autozoner’s whole heartily love to hear the words “I’m going to Advance” or any of the other incompetent auto part’s stores to get these ill-bred people out of our store. Autozoner’s dread the question “well, can you just come out and look at it?” just take the fucking thing to an actual mechanic you inconsiderate fuck-up.

A faceless corporation that slowly chews the life out of most employees who toil wihin their walls of automotive debauchery.

The place were the burden to keep your '84 Cutlass Supreme or comparable hoopdi alive is placed on employees who have no idea why your radiator won't stop leaking even though you poured pepper in it...or some other ignorant method of maintenance.

A valient and courageous employee of Autozone. He goes to work each day knowing that at least once a day, for as long as he works at Autozone, someone will ask for a part for a primer grey car. The customer wil never have any year, make, or model information on the car and will often times use terms like "the stuff with the what not" to describe the part to said employee with the expectation of Autozone employees to be both on-site mechanincs and clairvoyant.

Autozoning: To dress your car's interior and exterior with meaningless cheaply made after market accessories and window stickers, in the hopes to improve the automobile overall appearance. Only to make it look worse than it already is

Those piece of shit spinners perchased at you local autozone, target, pep boys, or walmart.
Theses spinners often come in 4 packs but
for some strange reason are generally seen on the
front passenger wheel. Theses spinners generally
come in sizes made only as big as your piece of shit rims
and should never be purchased.