Michael Moynihan

A complete hipster and soyboy. Very skinny, tall, hair to his shoulders. Bony, lethargic, very unmotivated. Usual attire includes, red or blue flannel, generic classic rock shirt (ex. The Doors) checkered vans. Enjoys drinking lattes with extra soy milk. Will obsess over his girlfriend even after she breaks up with him because he has a wedgie fetish. Tries to get everyone to think she is a whore in return. Buys soyboy attire, such as flashy fallout backpack from Hot Topic, gets made fun of it, and insists it's "a gift". Says the same analogies over and over again. (example, "it's all a shit sandwich" , "the proof is in the pudding" , "it's an elephant in the room". Overthinks everything and thinks a girl wants to marry him if they make eye contact for a second.