Microbiologist

A microbiologist is a respectable drunk who is capable of extreme violence and can drink a geologist under the table if they so choose to do so. They study the most helpful and the most dangerous creatures in the world. THE ONES YOU CANNOT SEE! They manipulate them into frankenstein like creatures which do our bidding (such as making beer and cheese)(and antrax) and protect you from the evils of disease and the discomfort of the common cold. In short they are the first line of defense in the war against 99.99% of bacteria. Collectively they come equipped with a stick up their arses... but on an individual basis they are drunken comrads up for a giggle. their lust for drink is only rivaled by their wanton desires.

But be warned, never annoy one as they can make your death look like a bad case of food poisoning...