Avocado

A horrible horrible cunt from Wedmore

An indisputably awesome food that is versatile, healthy, and manly. Useful in salads, Mexican food, baked potatoes, sex, omelettes, and even popcorn. Also invaluable in a vegetarian/vegan diet. 95 percent of avocados grown in the US come from California.

Should be considered the most MANLY FOOD EVER due to these facts:

At one point, it was also known as the alligator pear. Your penis is already jealous.

Its name is derived from the Aztec word for testicle.

A small avocado provides one's body with more usable protein than a huge steak because the proteins in the steak are deranged and mostly unavailable to the liver.

Women love it on their faces.

NOTE: Despite the belief of some, the so-called "popular belief" that the avocado is a vegetable is (1) not common at all, and (2) better applied to the more common and wimpy tomato. Hence, the use of the term "avocado" to describe a homosexual who appears heterosexual is misplaced and not warranted.

Avocado is a delicious fruit, sometimes confused for a vegetable, but definitely a fruit. It comes with its own handy bio-degradable packaging, so no need to wrap it in plastic. Under no circumstances should it ever be cooked. This is a direct order from heaven. It is perfect as it is and cooking it is a literal sin and a crime against humanity. Enjoy uncooked, raw, cold, fresh from the tree or not warm.

A fruit, commonly eaten by Millenials

Used to describe a person, particularly a man, who is socially construed as straight by those around him/her, but in actuality is gay. Someone who goes undected on the gaydar spectrum. Thick, deceptive skin on outside, but a fruit on the inside. Based on the avocado being widely misnomered as a vegetable, when it is indeed a fruit.

A gentleman. Knows how to treat a lady. Low key is a mess and can be stubborn and arrogant at times.

My boyfriend, also known as:
3rd cousin twice removed from the duke of turkey&cheese
the brother of the royal cook
and dethroned princess