Miss Tubby Tubby
Main Entry: Miss Tubby Tubby
Function: Noun
:A beast of an African American woman usually found in rundown sections of any city (AKA "The Ghetto").
TEETH: A Tubby has large gap between the two front teeth large enough to guage bricks.
LEGS AND FEET: Covered by stretch marks, Tubby legs are rife with cellulite around the hip and thigh area. The kankles are covered with Varicose veins, and the feet look white and powdery. The toe nails are yellowed and heavily infected with fungus.
SENSES:A Tubby is very adept at sensing who has money, and who is willing to mate. It has been rumored that during ovulation, a Tubby can sniff out a hoggin' male at over a mile.
SOCIAL BEHAVIOR:Tubbies are personable, but have been known to stomp Pimp skiny crack heads to death.
ATTIRE:4" fuck me heels, loud shirt, spandex shorts, and splash glitter on the face. The makeup used on the face is the spitting image of Mimi Bobeck.
REPRODUCTION:A Tubby will mate with any male large enough to throw her about in the bedroom, and any man small enough that she is able to strong arm.
HUNTING:May be legally taken, but it's strictly on a catch and release basis.
EFFECTS ON THE ENVIRONMENT:Since they will readily mate with anything, they have begun to spread into the suburbs. Serious attempts have been made via The Welfare Office to spay them. However, this has been met with strong Congressional opposition.
Function: Noun
:A beast of an African American woman usually found in rundown sections of any city (AKA "The Ghetto").
TEETH: A Tubby has large gap between the two front teeth large enough to guage bricks.
LEGS AND FEET: Covered by stretch marks, Tubby legs are rife with cellulite around the hip and thigh area. The kankles are covered with Varicose veins, and the feet look white and powdery. The toe nails are yellowed and heavily infected with fungus.
SENSES:A Tubby is very adept at sensing who has money, and who is willing to mate. It has been rumored that during ovulation, a Tubby can sniff out a hoggin' male at over a mile.
SOCIAL BEHAVIOR:Tubbies are personable, but have been known to stomp Pimp skiny crack heads to death.
ATTIRE:4" fuck me heels, loud shirt, spandex shorts, and splash glitter on the face. The makeup used on the face is the spitting image of Mimi Bobeck.
REPRODUCTION:A Tubby will mate with any male large enough to throw her about in the bedroom, and any man small enough that she is able to strong arm.
HUNTING:May be legally taken, but it's strictly on a catch and release basis.
EFFECTS ON THE ENVIRONMENT:Since they will readily mate with anything, they have begun to spread into the suburbs. Serious attempts have been made via The Welfare Office to spay them. However, this has been met with strong Congressional opposition.
*Note, Tubby's lines will be written phonectically in bubonics.
1. Tubby: Dayhum why boy, yo shur got a nice ass
white boy: (no words, he just gives a quizzical stare.)
Tubby: Whahsh yo naymuh why boy?
White boy: Mike
Tubby: Oh Missa Mike yaw shaw are cute. You can call me Miss Tubby Tubby.
Whiteboy: (Thinks to self, hum, so they really do exist!)
2. White man riding with Tyrone:
white man: What the fuck is that? It's too short to be sasquatch!
Tyrone: Dat's Miss Tubby Tubby.
White boy: I've heard about those things, and man, they're as nasty as they say!
Tyrone: Yea, but she sho can fuck!
3. Tubby Tubby math.
Professor: When solving for X, what's the answer to the following equation? C2H5OH(X*Whiteboy) + 9 months = Miss Zubby Zubby (hint C2H5OH is alcohol in common language)
Student: X=Miss Tubby Tubby
1. Tubby: Dayhum why boy, yo shur got a nice ass
white boy: (no words, he just gives a quizzical stare.)
Tubby: Whahsh yo naymuh why boy?
White boy: Mike
Tubby: Oh Missa Mike yaw shaw are cute. You can call me Miss Tubby Tubby.
Whiteboy: (Thinks to self, hum, so they really do exist!)
2. White man riding with Tyrone:
white man: What the fuck is that? It's too short to be sasquatch!
Tyrone: Dat's Miss Tubby Tubby.
White boy: I've heard about those things, and man, they're as nasty as they say!
Tyrone: Yea, but she sho can fuck!
3. Tubby Tubby math.
Professor: When solving for X, what's the answer to the following equation? C2H5OH(X*Whiteboy) + 9 months = Miss Zubby Zubby (hint C2H5OH is alcohol in common language)
Student: X=Miss Tubby Tubby