Monroe, Michigan

Heroin capitol of the state. Favorite past times include committing felonies, overdosing on drugs in McDonald's bathroom, and domestic violence against your fifth baby momma.

Nightlife consists of snorting xanax and fighting the cops, going to the dying Mall of Monroe for a few hours to poke fun at the rent a cops.

The dating pool consists of men who have either been to prison several times or are currently on felony probation for various reasons. and women who have five children by five different men by the age of 21.

The local cuisine consists of stale meat from the East end markets and Bud Light purchased by returning bottles and cans to the local Wal-Mart.

The attire of his lovely city often consists of an ankle monitor, pants sagging to your ankles and a pair of bootleg Chinese Air Jordan's you stole from your neighbor.

Monroe, come for the heroin, stay because you're now in jail and owe $10,000 in child support to some prostitute you slept with at a party one night!

A small town where the locals will drive through 2 miles of potholes in their raised pickup truck, to snort cocaine off of a Meijer’s toilet seat.

A place where Oxycontin is as commonly used as toothbrushes, every girl has at least one kid out of wedlock before her 21st birthday and where people who have a 'nice' double wide think that they've really made it in life.

A sad little town in Michigan located north of Toledo and south of Detroit. No one loves Monroe, because it is not very important. There's lots of cornfields and the winters are long and cold. Most people who live here spend their time thinking of ways to make other people miserable, because it is their only way to defeat severe cases of depression caused from a lack of sunlight and unemployment. Some teenagers spend their time thinking of ways to leave for Ann Arbor or Ypsi on the weekends. The ones without cars have to bum rides from their friends or actually try to find something to do in Monroe.. You could always go to the game. If you hate sports you're pretty much screwed, unless you have enough money to buy several cups of cofee while sitting in a cafe listening to twelve year old emo kids whine about their lives. If none of these things sound appealing to you-make out with each other or masterbate (these are really your only healthy options.) If you can't keep it in your pants, use a rubber, because no one wants more miserable monroe biotches walking around on the streets. And as for "historical importance" Sure.. Custer lived here, but all he did was kill people anyways. Why the hell does our town celebrate Custer week? Monroe is obviously a city filled with sick bastards (literally..we always have the flu and were conceived out of wed-lock)