Mouth Beef
A temporary but uncomfortable oral condition that occurs when consuming crunchy, sharped-edged food, resulting in painful trauma to the roof of the mouth. Examples of common food items that cause Mouth Beef are: Antiseptically dry sourdough toast, tortilla chips (if eaten in great gluttonous handfuls), and Cap'n Crunch® breakfast cereal (any variety).
Sorry, sweetcheeks, I can't make out with you tonight; I had five bowls of Cap'n Crunch this morning and have a terrible case of mouth beef.
Beef-Mouth
adj: consuming such a large quantity of beef that you can't talk.
Example: Drew can't come to the phone right now. He has Beef-Mouth