Mutley'ing one out
the act of coming home drunk and attempting to masturbate but through the frustration of not achieving an erection making the noise of Dick Dastardly's dog under your drunken breath (razzle frazzle razzle frazzle rick rarstardly) whilst holding your floppy cock in your hand.
Bruv, I was so wasted last night I got home and tried to have a wank but ended up Mutley'ing one out instead.