my mate dave
The imaginary person who's always with you should you feel the need to use him.
(in the pub, at a table with one empty seat)
Randomer who wants the empty chair at your table: Hi is someone sitting here?
you: yes
Randomer: ...
You: My mate dave
Randomer who wants the empty chair at your table: Hi is someone sitting here?
you: yes
Randomer: ...
You: My mate dave