Nectar of the Tards
A sickly sweet, yellow-green carbonated soft drink also known a Mountain Dew. It is said by retards that Mountain Dew gives gives them other-worldly hyper-awareness and the ability to crash into passers-by at public libraries while they attempt lame skateboarding moves.
Chris guzzled a pint of Nectar of the Tards before running into old people coming out of the library entrance.