newsance

The first person you hear from whenever an important news story breaks. Having idolized news anchors like Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper, the newsance relishes every opportunity to experience the awesome wave of self-congratulatory importance that derives from delivering a novel news story. The newsance recognizes this as a cause greater than oneself and, as such, will go to great lengths to inform every last one of his/her friends about a breaking news story--at any time of day and by any means necessary.

*Phone rings at 3 a.m.*

John: What in the hell... *yawn*... who's calling so late?!
Phyllis: John! My goodness, have you heard? HAVE YOU HEARD?! Oprah just announced she's quitting her show! 25 YEARS!
John: Uh... gah, is this Phyllis again? Do you really have to call so late?
Phyllis: It's Oprah! This is, like, a historic moment! I just couldn't bear the thought of you waking up to it in the morning, having to deal with it all alone.
John: Listen, Phyllis, I know I've always called you my friend, but no longer. *hangs up*
John's wife: Phyllis, right? Jeez, she's a real newsance.

Fox Newsance

The annoyance you feel when a valid organization like Planned Parenthood or ACORN or the NAACP ( all non- whites in general) is being harressed or misrepresented on Fox News. This feeling also arises whenever you hear the "Fair and Balanced" promo commerials on Fox News, because you know thats a right out lie.

Fox anchor ( blonde attractive pyscho): Planned Parenthood is forcing women to get abortions weather they want to have the baby or not, and black people are scary. This and more after these commerials.
Viewer: What bullshit, this is such a Fox Newsance.

俚语	newsance
释义	newsance The first person you hear from whenever an important news story breaks. Having idolized news anchors like Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper, the newsance relishes every opportunity to experience the awesome wave of self-congratulatory importance that derives from delivering a novel news story. The newsance recognizes this as a cause greater than oneself and, as such, will go to great lengths to inform every last one of his/her friends about a breaking news story--at any time of day and by any means necessary. Phone rings at 3 a.m. John: What in the hell... yawn... who's calling so late?! Phyllis: John! My goodness, have you heard? HAVE YOU HEARD?! Oprah just announced she's quitting her show! 25 YEARS! John: Uh... gah, is this Phyllis again? Do you really have to call so late? Phyllis: It's Oprah! This is, like, a historic moment! I just couldn't bear the thought of you waking up to it in the morning, having to deal with it all alone. John: Listen, Phyllis, I know I've always called you my friend, but no longer. hangs up John's wife: Phyllis, right? Jeez, she's a real newsance. Fox Newsance The annoyance you feel when a valid organization like Planned Parenthood or ACORN or the NAACP ( all non- whites in general) is being harressed or misrepresented on Fox News. This feeling also arises whenever you hear the "Fair and Balanced" promo commerials on Fox News, because you know thats a right out lie. Fox anchor ( blonde attractive pyscho): Planned Parenthood is forcing women to get abortions weather they want to have the baby or not, and black people are scary. This and more after these commerials. Viewer: What bullshit, this is such a Fox Newsance.
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