Newton's Turd Law

Newton's Turd Law is a physical law described by Isaac Newton, a 16th-century British physicist and mathematician, dedicated to describing the kinetic behavior of a semi-rigid externally unconstrained fecal system of particles forming a semi-rigid body, otherwise known as a Turd. Specifically, this law focuses on the behavior of a Turd post-freefall collision.

This law is part of a set, known colloquially as Newton's Laws, collectively discovered by Newton when observing that his Turds accelerated downwards and not sideways or diagonal.

This law states that 'for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction'.

Newton's Turd Law is the explanation for water splashback when taking a shit, why larger shits have appropriately larger splashbacks, and why gigantic shits could break the toilet.

We are looking forward to hosting the prestigious international physics-chemistry conference in which participants will have the opportunity to present experimental data and physical samples involving Newton's Turd Law.

If you poop in my bedroom, I will be forced by the physical law of nature known as Newton's Turd Law to defecate in your bedroom, equally by total quantity in volume, assuming a similar density of substance.

Newton's Turd Law

The turd law exists as a precaution to those who, while holding in their poop, have the urge to sneeze. It states that, in such condition, for every sneeze, there is an equal and disgustingly opposite reaction.

I gotta sneeze.

Didn't you say you had to shit, too?

Yeah, so what...

Dude you can't sneeze or you'll totally shit your pants.

Says whom?

Newton's Turd Law, read a book.

俚语	newton's turd law
释义	Newton's Turd Law Newton's Turd Law is a physical law described by Isaac Newton, a 16th-century British physicist and mathematician, dedicated to describing the kinetic behavior of a semi-rigid externally unconstrained fecal system of particles forming a semi-rigid body, otherwise known as a Turd. Specifically, this law focuses on the behavior of a Turd post-freefall collision. This law is part of a set, known colloquially as Newton's Laws, collectively discovered by Newton when observing that his Turds accelerated downwards and not sideways or diagonal. This law states that 'for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction'. Newton's Turd Law is the explanation for water splashback when taking a shit, why larger shits have appropriately larger splashbacks, and why gigantic shits could break the toilet. We are looking forward to hosting the prestigious international physics-chemistry conference in which participants will have the opportunity to present experimental data and physical samples involving Newton's Turd Law. If you poop in my bedroom, I will be forced by the physical law of nature known as Newton's Turd Law to defecate in your bedroom, equally by total quantity in volume, assuming a similar density of substance. Newton's Turd Law The turd law exists as a precaution to those who, while holding in their poop, have the urge to sneeze. It states that, in such condition, for every sneeze, there is an equal and disgustingly opposite reaction. I gotta sneeze. Didn't you say you had to shit, too? Yeah, so what... Dude you can't sneeze or you'll totally shit your pants. Says whom? Newton's Turd Law, read a book.
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