new years

To perform this sex act, you need to gather the vomit, shit, saliva, and cum/vaginal fluids of ten kindergarteners whose birthdays fall on January/September 1st, as well as your own. Pour them in a blender and let the mixture blend for thirty minutes. After it's finished, make a human centipede out of the kindergarteners with a staplegun, feed the mixture and some laxatives to the first kid, and quickly staple his anus to the last kid's mouth to finish the cycle of gurgling and shitting. It should be noted that the kids will try to break free, so it won't hurt to glue their limbs to the floor. After an hour, break the link between the first and last kid, give the first kid Diet Coke and Mentos up the ass, and quickly staple his ass to the last kid's mouth. Finish the act by beating off on each kid's face.

The reason for all the birthdays in September.

new years
1. When a female is made to consume so much alcohol that she passes out.

1. A plan where a person is slipped Rohypnol and is sodomized.

2. A plan where a person is given drinks until they are totally drunk, then is sodomized.

A holiday that celebrates the idea of all the good things that will happen in another year. Most people use this time to get drunk.

A time when humanity realizes they are one more year closer to being extinct and dominated by robots and aliens to continue the foster and growth of the earth to supply there weapons and mother ships.

A time that hasn't happened yet, but signifies the end of all the past New Years. Since it's a New Year, people usually make resolutions with themselves and/or others in order to forfity themselves and their self-respect, or whatever the reason.