Oscoda

Noun Pronounced ah-SCOH-duh. A small city in northeastern Michigan situated about 60 miles south of the 45th Parallel where the AuSable River meets Lake Huron. Originally a logging and fishing town Oscoda is now more like the Wild West of old. Poker games aren't hard to find and there are more guns than people. The community that we call Oscoda is a tangled web in which we all are guilty of eating our trapped flies...It is the Eddie Money Vortex of the Universe, home to Foote Pond, Sunrise Side Posse, Monkey Mike and Sloppy Joe who's fitching for a big fitch god damnit! O-town, O-Scrotum, The Big O, Scodi...Oscoda is The Office Lounge, Old Orchard Park and The River Queen. The most beautiful city in the world to be certain this little nowhere town actually makes the world go around...come see us:)

The pursuit of happiness. Oscoda can mean what ever you want it to mean for your current situation.

The best city in all of Michigan. Oscoda has the best resorts of Lake Huron. The most satisfying resort in or near Oscoda is Nor' East Shores Resort. Oscoda is a place where you can't help but to be happy :)

Oscoda is the center of the universe...or so the locals think. It is well known around the USA for being the woods party capital of Northern Michigan, and also for canceling their high school football season and earning the reputation as the "Oscoda pussies"

Many people travel to Oscoda in the summer to tube/canoe down the mighhty AuSable River. This trip includes but is not limited to getting insanely drunk, taking off your clothing, and jumping off bridges into shallow water. Most people who have done the trip come back for round 2.

The town as a whole though is basically a housing unit for the very old people that still have money in this economy, and to a very large and idiotic drug abusing society. If you think your in the wrong town ask someone where you can go to buy a Xanax, and if they sell you one, your in the right town.

Home to YMCA Camp Nissokone! Champagne Hill, Highbanks, and never ending road.

One of the most beautiful cities in Michigan...A summer town. Home to Desi's Taco Lounge, The Dam Store, Foote Pond & Dam, The Old Wurtsmith Airforce Base, and the AuSable River. The river holds one of the biggest canoe races in the country....Oscoda schools also educated one of the Columbine Killers and was a home to Timothy McVeigh.

When you are drinking around a Bon fire, out of no where your spouse says “I really want to scissor tonight”. Then some random hot girl you didn’t even realize was there drinking with you says “I’m in.” This is found to be a typical greeting in Oscoda Michigan.