Ossifer
How a drunk says "officer."
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am, ossifer!"
Ossification
The state of intoxication that leads to a syllable change in the word officer when attempting to communicate with your local PD.
Wha-zeems to be the problem Ossiffer?
"Take her away boys, this is a serious case of Ossification"
"Take her away boys, this is a serious case of Ossification"