paedoscopes
The thick-lensed (and thick-rimmed) spectacles associated with those scary, trenchcoat wearing men who hang around playgrounds. And don't have kids.
"My, what big glasses you have!"
"Ah, you mean my paedoscopes! All the better to see you with, my dear..."
"Ah, you mean my paedoscopes! All the better to see you with, my dear..."