Painty Hand
A douchey hipster. Someone who was born a hipster, but was dropped on their head as a child, resulting in mentally-handicapped hipsterdom. They probably read Bukowski and talk about existentialism while waxing their handlebar mustaches and talking about how superior they are to the rest of the human race. Most commonly unemployed, the Painty Hand masks their lack of income with "edgy" thrift store bargain bin castoffs and "attractive" anorexia.
Do you see that Painty Hand over there in tight black Levi's, hand-shadow dancing to Madonna while sneaking the last sips of beer left on that abandoned table? He just said that he was cooler than Lady Gaga and then stole a child's lollipop.