penis in the castle

A penis that lives and rules over a castle and a kingdom, whose main goal is to slay the vaginas in caves that terrorize the citizens of his kingdom. The first such penis appeared in Britain in 1543, when the great King Asshole left his kingdom in the hands of his grandson, the Penis, instead of his son, the Taint. The penis then successfully fought off the French army, thus creating the legend that we revere to this day.