Pennsylvania throat AIDS

Pennsylvania throat AIDS is a particularly severe form of bacterial pharyngitis caused by the bacterium Gonorrhoeae pennsylvanianus. The bacterium that causes Pennsylvania throat AIDS is believed to have originated in white trash populations dwelling in Pittsburgh. Symptoms of the disease include: persistent sore throat, non-weed-related cottonmouth, fever, Cheeto lung, headache, tattoo sagging syndrome (aka the other TSS), joint pain, acute Elmo voice, enlarged cervical lymph nodes, testicular cauliflowering, cough, and restless ovary syndrome.