PENOC
PENOC is an abbreviation for "problem exists, not on computer." This is a modification of the classic acronym "PEBCAK" that is a bit less offensive to the person you are referring to, or at least a bit more ambiguous. It implies that the end user is probably the source of the problem, without blatantly blaming them, but affirms that there is no hardware or software related issue occurring.
I checked all the hardware on this workstation and it all checks out, must be a PENOC error.
Penocity
The velocity in which a males penis is sliding in an out of an object.
Guy 1: Dude you should have seen me banging this hot chick last night!
Guy 2: I wish i could have! What was your Penocity?
Guy 2: I wish i could have! What was your Penocity?