pen test
A method of determining the sagginess of a boob: place a pen horizontally underneath the breast, let go of said knocker. Should pen fail to stay smashed up against the chest, then the bitch doesn't have saggy tits.
Your grandma has such saggy tits, she'd fail the pen test lying down.
OR
That slut may have failed the pen test, but she fuckin shoved a tennis racket up my ass, and it was great.
OR
That slut may have failed the pen test, but she fuckin shoved a tennis racket up my ass, and it was great.