Persian Lardass

This creature lives in the depths of the United States of America. It rarely comes out of hiding when it is full, but if it has an appetite, and you live within a 20 mile radius of a Cava, Chipotle, McDonalds, Five Guys, &Pizza, Buffalo Wild Wings, Wendy’s, California Pizza Kitchen, Dominos, Wawa, Taco Bell, Mission BBQ, or especially New Jersey Michael’s, you better run for your life. This creature sucks in every CRUMBBB of food in his vicinity with one mighty bite. Some say when this creature returns from his trip down south, he will be big enough and hungry enough to devour the world in one bite. It often keeps 4 fingers pointed upwards for all to see, signaling how many times he has eaten at the restaurant chain of Chipotle that day. Beware of the Persian Lardass.