Philadelphia Fister

The Philadelphia Fister is both sexual and gourmet vegetarian cuisine. A person takes a 8 ounce piece of cream cheese and while grasping it with their fist, they penetrate a woman's vagina with it for a good 10-15 minutes, or until softened. Once softened, combine in a medium bowl with 1/2 cup mayonnaise. Mix until smooth (it should drip off the spoon). Add 1 cup diced celery (no need for onions, your girl took care of that taste element), paprika, and salt/pepper to taste. If this mixture is served on bread, this dish tastes identical to a tuna salad sandwich. It's a vagatarian delight!!