pinch and squirt
The odd combination of taking a crap and jacking off at the same time. From the phrase 'pinching a loaf" and "squirt one off". Usually performed by someone who is fearful of being caught whacking off, or has been busted in the past. Hence killing two birds with one stone..so to speak.
In order to keep his wife in the dark about his chronic masturbation problem , Scott has taken up the pinch and squirt approach while in the bathroom.