planet hollywood

(n.) Restuarant chain incorrectly believed to be owned by Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis & Slyvester Stallone. In fact, these three endorsed the products in exchange for shares (approx. 3%).

Planet Hollywood is the shit. It’s like Hard Rock Cafe, but movies, and shittier.

Imagine a prop from a sub par Sylvester Stallone film that came out 30 or so years ago. Now imagine like 60 of them, all enclosed in glass boxes like anyone would ever want to steal them. Nobody wants to take a napkin Matthew Broderick coughed into during the filming of Inspector Gadget (1999). And you’d be lucky if you ever got to see something like that, if you went to a shitty city the props were shitty too. Unless it’s the one in Disney World there’s a high chance you’ll have no idea what movies any of the props are from, which will make your cold ass burger slightly worse than it already is.

All jokes aside, Planet Hollywood rocks. Especially the merch. Studies show a Planet Hollywood leather jacket adds 12 inches your dick. That’s science. Nowadays there’s hardly any Planet Hollywoods left, it’s lost all its celebrity endorsements and has been into bankruptcy like 8 times so it’s kinda fucked. But it was fun while it lasted.