Pokey Bum Cry Wank

A thoroughly modern form of vigorous self-pleasure enjoyed by the east London sexual elite.

This wildly popular practice centers around three activities: Poking, Crying and Wanking; and two erogenous zones: the genitals and the anus (cllql. dirty rubber ring, bumlips).

A PBCW aficionado lifts one leg (much like an animal relieving its bladder or a sumo wrestler) and brutally rams the index or 'poking' finger into their rear entrance.

Next, they begin to manhandle their rude bits until they are tumescent. Balance can often prove an issue, which is why many PBCW fans club together and rent ballet practice spaces, using the rails and mirrors for support and guidance.

At this point, the sheer pleasure of the mixed sensations experienced usually produces tears of joy, but a willing PBCW partner can be employed to add Crying - the final element of the activity - by hurling vicious insults at the PBCWer or swiping at their nuts or nipples with a handy kitchen utensil.