polychromatophilia
Some big, fancy, East-coast word for a fabric fetish. Polychromatophilists are a strange group of people that have sexual urges towards fabric. Typically, this manifests in women and can lead to a clothes-shopping addiction. A peculiar side-effect is that the afflicted woman's boyfriend typically has Disappearing Money Syndrome.
"Jeff, why the fuck can't you go bowling today?"
"My girl is a polychromatophilist, and my money disappears."
"Oh wow, polychromatophilia is a tough disease. Good luck man."
"My girl is a polychromatophilist, and my money disappears."
"Oh wow, polychromatophilia is a tough disease. Good luck man."