Ponteland

Ponteland is a small semi-rural village located 9 miles North West of the glorious city Newcastle Upon Tyne. Ponteland is what would be considered an upper-middle-class area in the UK. It is connected to a large and extremely expensive housing estate Darras Hall, home to many footballers from the surrounding North East clubs and people who can only be described as Cashmere Trash.

Mummy and Daddy's money, second-hand Porsches, an elderly generation of snobs, ridiculous house prices and the automatic assumption that your child will go to Oxford or Cambridge define Ponteland. Yet it is still labeled as a wonderful place to live as is Darras Hall. Maybe it is a wonderful place to live but several decaying schools, the Chav filled Merton Way "shopping center" and a former council housing estate filled with what the prestigious people of Ponteland would call "salt of the earth" residents suggest against this.

In summary; Ponteland has the image of being middle class and civilized, but that couldn't be further from the truth. It is a shithole in its own right, dominated by social pressure, former criminals and the fear of not being accepted by your following middle-class brethren.

There's always someone doing better than you in Pontleland.

JC