Privacy Helmet
A product put out by Cinco, the Privacy Helmet is specially designed so that the user's roommate can have sex in his or her dorm room in complete privacy, while the subject using the helmet is still in the roommate's presence. The helmet emits a deafening sound and blinding mace in order to ensure the user does not sneak a peek at the sexual activity taking place in the dorm room.
I'll do you a solid, bro...you two can bang in the dorm, and I'll wear the Cinco Privacy Helmet.