proper dump

a proper dump is when you take a crap and it's formed correctly. no anal mudslide, no liquor-scented diarrhea, no ass gremlins. no constipation, no screaming in pain as your asshole rips open from a week's worth of backed up rectal granite. no asshole in the other stall causing you to clench up while they try to converse with you, no sitting on a toilet soaked in some dickhead's piss, no boss hollering at you to quit looking at facebook on company time while you pinch off or time limits. no greasy composition that takes half a roll of toilet paper to remove from your anal hole, no splashing up crap-water all over your nut bag.

just a nice, painless, stinky loaf that drops in with a gentle splashdown, and quick, clean wipe, leaving you satisfied and ready to continue your day.