Puffin shmud
A large clump of fecal matter which, when excreted, will stretch the the rectum for a few hours before returning to its natural size.
person 1: Hey jim you wanna play football
Person 2: no i cant, this puffin shmud has got me shitting my bowels out...
Person 2: no i cant, this puffin shmud has got me shitting my bowels out...