Pulling an Anus

When a punk with a stupid name, like “Adam”, spends years fooling his coworkers into thinking they are his friends. He laughs with them, cries with them, confides in them, throws burritos with them, and reaches high things for them. But then he pops his lung, on account of his lanky-Ness, and his coworkers selflessly take care of him like one of their own. His lung heals and then he asks for his palm sander back and takes the Cards Against Humanity expansion pack and runs... never to be heard from again.

Bitch, who doesn't stop cussing