purplepotamus
The most feared of all office animals. Usually dresses in purple and has purple hair and purple hide. Its official name is Purplepotamus Dottiensis. Its roar can be heard for miles. It is notorious for being lazy. It has a terrible temper and it is dangerous to approach it. Also known as FAPLAW, or "Fat-Ass-Psychotic-Lazy-Ass-Windbag." Looks like a cross between Mimi from The Drew Carey Show and a rhinoceros.
The Purplepotamus spends most of its free time whining and shopping online.