PUTPETA
People for the Unethical Treatment of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. A fake organization made up of those who think people should not be harmed to protect animals and anyone who thinks that should be treated unethically.
And in other news, PETA released a bear from it's cage in the zoo today and it ended up devouring many small children. Fortunately the bear was caught and led back to it's cage. only moments later a PUTPETA member was somehow able to lock the PETA members that were involved, in with the bear. They are now cornered and begging that we shoot the bear... The official PETA organization has rejected his membership and is willing to let the bear eat him.