Quantum Wank
n. Masterbating whilst mentally reliving past sexual failures and "Trying to put right what once went wrong."
I totally blew it with the hot chick with the big jugs last night. She walked away 'to talk to her friends' and I knew she wasn't coming back. I ended having a Quantum Wank over her when I got home so my balls didn't explode. Those puppies weren't hard to forget!