RC Empire

I find it interesting to note that the RC Crew is considered sad for making videos of random stuff. I personally find it sad that W00tco (which was a short lived "site" created by some wierdos trying to make us look bad or something, and is also the group of people who wrote the first RC Empire definition) can say that with a straight face. The leader of this group, who will be henceforth referred to as "Microsoft," mentions in his definition that we are not creative for destroying a car (which by the way, was a very nice 1981 Volvo 244DL for $126 on eBay, and is the fastest car ever built by humans) in a field after school let out. The reason Microsoft finds this so "hilariously unoriginal" is because he was not allowed to attend the event himself. The reason for this is because, simply, he did not pay our fee. Everybody who attended donated money to buy the car, and to buy food, and to buy drinks, and to buy fireworks. Nobody that came to the car smash came without giving something to make it a better event. If Microsoft had even brought a 24-pack of cokes from Wal-mart, that would have been fine. We aren't bastards, but for some reason, Microsoft decided that we are. But don't let his post fool you. Microsoft used to follow RC around like a fly on a steak. He wanted to come to the car event, he laughed at the escalator jousting, and he once asked us if we wanted to do a circle jerk (we declined because, unlike Microsoft, we are not bisexual). Microsoft wanted to go to the car thing and Microsoft cried like the little whiner that Microsoft is when we said he had to donate something (and once again, we would settle for nearly anything) and he didn't do it. And somehow, through some sort of mutated state of mind, thought that we were being unfair to him for it. It makes about as much sense to us as it probably does to you: none. But then again, Microsoft rarely, if ever, makes sense.

On to the next topic. Microsoft apparently thinks that we "sparked" several "online wars" with Ignus, Ragtime, and W00tco. However, we see it in slightly different light. RC "cleansed" the internet of the aforementioned "websites," and it was more of a "massacre" and less of a "war." The confrontations with Ignus and Ragtime (and more recently, Dragonball Omega) were short, precise, and hilarious. The thing about W00tco is actually even more funny. When Microsoft calls it an "online war," he is obviously referring to the amount of time he spent creating a shitty website (I hesistate to call it truly shitty, because it was intended to look shitty, and we recognize that he succeeded in this task) containing countless .ogg files about RC members. These files contained horribly offending material that Microsoft created and (this is where the online war thing comes in) didn't tell anybody about, except his only accomplice, who will be referred to as Nathaniel Hawthorne. You read this right. Microsoft created a site about us, hid behind his computer screen (probably with Nathaniel under his desk slurping his dong), and then claims that we started an online war with him. Anybody notice something about Microsoft's behavior, yet? He's obviously disturbed, because I simply can't understand why he cares enough about our group of friends to try and discredit us by spending the time it takes to make a wesbite that he doesn't show to anybody and make an urban dictionary post about us, which he also neglected to mention to us. I seriously think he has some type of psychological disorder, because the willingness and drive to do such things is simply not normal, and trust me, the things he said in the .ogg files were truly disgusting. He later claimed that it was "satire" which is completely not true. If the reader of this knows where to find the "rcempire" (type that in a search engine) website, we will soon have a mirror up of his entire site, which he took down when he found out we all knew about it, so that everyone can see and hear that the things he said were simply not things you would say as a joke. They are truly that gross and offending.

The RC Empire is just a group of friends who like to have a good time and film their shenanigans. We have a wesbite that we use to communicate over the internet. It's all just for our own personal laughs, and Microsoft is basically a creature that somehow decided he hated us enough to spend his life discrediting us but not telling anyone about it. It's somehow very amusing, but not amusing in the way that you feel when you watch Louis Black live, it's amusing in the way that a rich man watches a poor man, pondering what it's like to have nothing, but quickly becomes bored and burns a pile of hundred dollar bills in spite of the poor man. Pick on, brother! *guitar solo*

A horribly shitty webpage started by a few sad individuals from Lincoln County High School in Fayetteville, Tennessee. Dubbing themselves the "Random Crap Crew," the members of RC Empire engage in and film hilariously unoriginal activities such as jousting on escalators, smashing used automobiles, and circle-jerking. Has sparked several "online wars" with other shitty webpages such as Ignus Software (owned by Vasco Ignus), Ragtime, and W00tco.