Redcar

A mysterious suave red-gloved Italian-suited preacher man with a late night TV show who charges $2.22 a second to speak to you, and you pay gladly.

Lovely seaside town in the north east of England, partly inhabbited By the dregs of the dregs of societies, but luckley they are all isolated to a small area called "THE LAKES" (under no circumstances should you find yourself in the The Lakes, it will not end well for you. the only exception to this is if you are in need of stolen good or drugs), the locals have been found straying outside of The Lakes in reacent years bring down the local area.

Other highlighs:

virtual shopping (empty shops with fake shop front, making the high street look full).

Beautiful Walks along the wind swept beach with views of Europes biggest chemicle plant and steel works.

newly modenised sea font with the world first and last Verticle Pier.

unforgettable night life where local customs dictate you drink yourself stupid and bottle anyone looking at you/ or anyone thought to be looking at you/ anyone. and that you find yourself an over wight middle aged woman, who will do anything you want for a cider and back, as long as you dont mind the smell of stale cigarettes and six illegitimate children in the next room.

tourist information has been closted since 1997 but do not fear there is an excessive amount of street wardens to be found around Redcar, they do not know much about what there jobs entails but they do love the power the Hi-vis stab vests seem to give them.

The biggest of sh*tholes England has to offer it makes neighbouring Middlesbrough look middle class and is truly in a different league to anywhere else in England (even the likes of Burnley, Nelson and Colne cant compete). The town is infamous for the fake white tracksuit, the fake Burberry cap and the highest percent of crackheads/smackheads in England. the sights you will see are as follows:
1.Infinite drugies passed out on street corners/on the seafront wall
2.infinite chavs in their fake white trackies and fake Burberry caps hanging outside the offy in groups of 30

3.Single teenage mums pushing their children around
4.At night the worst 1% of all the local towns (Boro Hartlepool, Grangetown, Darlington, Stockton etc) come to Redcar to get absolutely sh**faced, fight with the local residents (and trust me when I say the whole of Redcar comes out to fight them)
5.Did I mention the endless amount of prostitutes and drug dealers
6.More smog then you would see in China (however now the steelworks ahs shut that has begun to clear)
7.And of course due to the only business that was left in Redcar (the steelworks) shutting down its official that there is now not a single employed person in Redcar leaving all of it residents to now become at least one off if not all of the following: chavs/druggies/drug dealers/baby machines/prostitutes (assuming they have not become them already)

someone who is very sexy