basingstoke

most boring town of existence

everyone stabs eachother

neighbouring towns and cities refer to it as blasingsmoke because everyone’s on drugs
no decent secondary schools so every goes to school in winchester

Also known as "Amazingstoke"

A very affluent town in the south of England.

You may spot the odd chav or pregnant teenager but is mostly full of young, fashionable people who know how to have a good time.

The majority of people go to college and uni, because they are CLEVER.

However, if you are looking for a nice, decent guy who will treat you right, do not come looking in Basingstoke. The town is full of so called "playas", dickheads, arseholes, wankers who all think they are God's gift to women.

For some reason the shopping centre has 2 Starbucks, 2 Costas, Tchibo and a lot of other small coffee shops, WHY?!

There are quite a few fatties in this town, mainly caused by the 3 McDonalds and 3 Pizza Huts.

Supermarket and Leisure Park carparks are the preferred hang out for "boy racers" and general saddos.

People who went to Bishop Challenor School are known as Bible Bashers, people who went to Brighton Hill are Yellow Bellies and Fort Hill and John Hunt are just terrible schools. Aldworth Science College is where its at!

Rough areas in Basingstoke include Popley, Oakridge, Buckskin and some parts of South Ham i.e Burnaby.

People from Kempshott, Chineham, Old Basing and Hatch Warren like to think they're rich and posh, but are mostly all on drugs.

Generally a good place to live, as long as you have money, you won't get bored.

A good place to live, full of interesting places and things to do.

there may be some chavs and people who like to yell at you in the street but all in all it is very nice.

the town centre has a great selection of places to go and brand stores such as superdry and zara but also the shitty ones like tk max...

if you have money you will live in the country side around basingstoke such as Upton Grey, Herriard, parts of Old Basing and some of the surrounding area.

quite a lot of teenagers have rich parents who have no real concern for how their kids spend their time so give them cars so they can do what they like, consequently you will also find a lot of audi's and BMW's crashed into lamposts!

A reasonably large town in Hampshire that somehow has achieved the smallest social circle out of any other place in the UK. If you make a mistake here the whole town has heard about it within 2-3 hours. You have some stunning locations here, for example if you're looking for a good stabbing then burnaby is the place for you!

Want to see pregnant 13 year olds with 17 year old fathers sporting everything Adidas? Come to south ham and Brighton Hill.

Town centre has more coffee shops and fast food restaurants than is actually probably legal and it's where the lovely 'emo' group hang out at the church near shareware (formerly the fountains was their hangout). Often called Blazingsmoke due to the excess of people smoking weed (seriously /everyone/ smokes it) or doughnut city for the overencumbance of roundabouts. This is a great place to avoid at all costs as once you're here there is no leaving. Because nobody wants to house swap into Basingstoke.

Also known as;

Basingrad
Boringstoke
Basingjoke
Amazingstoke
Basingvegas

Rated from worst to best names (i.e. Basingrad is bad, Basingvegas is good).

A town in Hampshire run by a woman called Maria. Veryone hangs around festival place and no where else, everyone is a chav or a rich kid wanna be chav and there is a wide range of high and low end shops like Apple, and Poundland. The locals refer to it as "b'stoke" or just "town", and by locals I mean the local road men who think they are hard by saying "wagwan" or "piffting".

Get a grip!

From the Gilbert and Sullivan opera Ruddigore