Reverse Jackhammer

When a large/strong woman stands in a sumo-style fashion while vigorouly thrusting a man, by grasping his buttocks, as a means of sexual intercourse.

If when a male and a female engage in a standing 69 where the female is the standing partner, the male achieves orgasm first, the female retaliates by dropping or thrusting the male straight downwards onto the floor and shitting on his unconscious face.

A variant of the Alabama Jackhammer

Take a group of men, preferably around 11 including yourself, to any polish city. There, you shall start doing any sort of polka dance backwards around the most sexually arousing object you can find, inanimate or not, while jumping on your dick like a jackhammer. The person deciding what is or is not sexually arousing shall be decided through a tournament of monopoly while doing a handstand. Anyone who stops doing a handstand during a game is automatically disqualified and must be sent 10 kilometres in a direction of the winner's choosing. If this is not completed, everyone are allowed to paper-cut the failure into submission, and the proceed with the tournament.

When everyone's dicks have shrunken by at least 20 centimetres, the ritual is done and everyone is allowed to return to their normal duties. If someone doesn't have a 20 centimetre dick, then he does not deserve a place in this holy ritual.

This act is extremely frowned upon unless you smile to the fifth rat you meet in Poland while riding a ping-pong table down a hill.