Reverse Vampire
A vampire who craves the sun and hates the night. Loves to get a tan. Refered to in both The Simpsons and Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
Reverse Vampires sleep in tanning booths during the night.
Reverse Vampire
Reverse Vampires (RVs) love the daylight and the morning hours. RVs promptly go to bed at sun-down, stopping all communication with others until the following morning.
Many RVs are tan with lighter colored hair. HOWEVER, as recently discovered by a young Boston native- some RVs retain their pale skin because all of the orange pigment migrates to the cranial end of the creature- thus creating an even-more fierce breed of Ginger-Vamp (or Reverse Ginger-Vamp).
As predicted, RVs do not draw blood from their victims. They much prefer having their own necks sucked and nibbled upon. In an effort to appear as animalistic and blood-thirsty as their vampire counterparts, RVs have been known to stain their own hands with cherry juice for intimidation.
Lastly, RVs don’t have fangs, cannot fly, ARE able to see their own reflection, and love garlic… Truly frightening!
In rare cases, RVs have been known to say “goodnight” when appropriate response would be “hello” or “good morning”. This defiant display of word-jargon is a direct act of spite against social norms, and is a sure-tell sign of a RV encounter.
If you do happen to stumble upon a RV (or God forbid, a Reverse Ginger-Vamp) be sure to get on their good side by displaying whimsical, unpredictable behavior, continuously telling dorky jokes to make them laugh, claiming to be (at least) ¾ gay as to mask obvious attraction to the creature, and keeping a minimum distance of 2,600 miles (or 4,200 km for our Canadian readers).
Many RVs are tan with lighter colored hair. HOWEVER, as recently discovered by a young Boston native- some RVs retain their pale skin because all of the orange pigment migrates to the cranial end of the creature- thus creating an even-more fierce breed of Ginger-Vamp (or Reverse Ginger-Vamp).
As predicted, RVs do not draw blood from their victims. They much prefer having their own necks sucked and nibbled upon. In an effort to appear as animalistic and blood-thirsty as their vampire counterparts, RVs have been known to stain their own hands with cherry juice for intimidation.
Lastly, RVs don’t have fangs, cannot fly, ARE able to see their own reflection, and love garlic… Truly frightening!
In rare cases, RVs have been known to say “goodnight” when appropriate response would be “hello” or “good morning”. This defiant display of word-jargon is a direct act of spite against social norms, and is a sure-tell sign of a RV encounter.
If you do happen to stumble upon a RV (or God forbid, a Reverse Ginger-Vamp) be sure to get on their good side by displaying whimsical, unpredictable behavior, continuously telling dorky jokes to make them laugh, claiming to be (at least) ¾ gay as to mask obvious attraction to the creature, and keeping a minimum distance of 2,600 miles (or 4,200 km for our Canadian readers).
My date last night was sick! She loved my Italian cooking, and after that we made out for hours. I hickie’d that girl up, she loved it. It was awesome!
RE: Sounds like a good time, bro.
Its weird though, at 8 o’clock she passed out mid-conversation and texted me “goodnight” when she woke up this morning at the ass-crack of dawn…
RE: Holy shit dude, you better watch yourself. That chick sounds like Reverse Vampire! You better send her a teddy bear or somethin’, cause those things are crazy!!!
RE: Sounds like a good time, bro.
Its weird though, at 8 o’clock she passed out mid-conversation and texted me “goodnight” when she woke up this morning at the ass-crack of dawn…
RE: Holy shit dude, you better watch yourself. That chick sounds like Reverse Vampire! You better send her a teddy bear or somethin’, cause those things are crazy!!!
Reverse Vampire
When a lesbian who is on her period bleeds directly into the vagina of her female partner (who is not on her period) during sex.
Last night I tried to watch the 2003 blockbuster sensation Daddy Daycare featuring the comedic genius Eddie Murphy dressed as a giant broccoli, but 16 minutes in my girlfriend paused it to give me the Reverse Vampire.
Reverse Vampire
When you have blood in your semen and you inject it into the front hole of an unsuspecting partner.
Hey bud, did your ball blood shit clear up yet?
Not yet, but I did get to reverse vampire that bitch last night. I guess that’s okay.
👍
Not yet, but I did get to reverse vampire that bitch last night. I guess that’s okay.
👍
reverse vampire
When a girl stands over a person and periods into his/her mouth, effectively adding blood to their throat.
Last night, Beth was really freaky and gave Zach a reverse vampire.
I heard a girl talking about how she gave a guy a reverse vampire when he wasn't expecting it and he vomited all over her.
I heard a girl talking about how she gave a guy a reverse vampire when he wasn't expecting it and he vomited all over her.
double reverse vampire
A vampire who can only be seen in mirrors.
man1: HOLY DICK! I was brushing my teeth and saw a vampire behind me only to turn around and find nothing but wall!
man2: Twas a double reverse vampire. This is not what I signed up for. *stares off into the distance*
man2: Twas a double reverse vampire. This is not what I signed up for. *stares off into the distance*
paralell universe reverse vampire
Similar to the traditional reverse vampire, the PURV must only be out during sunlight and dies in the dark. Sadely, the PURV does not have super-human strength or any form of charismatic animal magnatism. The PURV is has below average strength and is afraid of women or men depending the the PURV's gender.
Let's go out around midnight, so there is no chance of running into a paralell universe reverse vampire.