robosapien

In short, these are robots who pretend to be human. Like humans, or "homosapiens", robosapiens are bipedal humanoids. Unlinke humans, robosapiens do not have hair or genetalia. This lack of external organs makes them very angry, therefore they take out their aggression upon children and the elderly. Nurseries and senior living communities are the most common targets for robosapien terrorism. However, they have also been seen at pet stores, random gas stations, and occasionally the local strip club.

Preparation for a robosapien encounter is important for today's society as neither pepper spray nor kung fu have any effect upon them.

Rule 1: ALWAYS wear a cup. Seeing as genetalia is the source of their hostility, this is the first area they will attempt to maim. Women are likely to have their chest attacked. The only defense against this is to get breast reduction surgery BEFORE the attack.

Rule 2: Pose an unanswerable question to them which will give you time to get away. Since they are robots, they rely heavily upon logic. A popular conundrum is, "How many digits of Pi can you count to?" or "What's the difference between a metrosexual and a homosexual?"

Rule 3: Always bring your robotic guard with you wherever you go. Since you cannot attack the robosapien, you need something that can. Robotic dogs are perfect. Or a gun.

Follow these steps and you will be safe from robosapien attacks and identity theft. You're welcome.