Rug rod
Similar to a fishing rod, an instrument used to snag and retrieve an obvious toupee that looks horrendous.
Vinny: Check out that middle-aged fool hitting on the brunette. With a hairpiece like that, he has no shot at banging her.
Carl: Yeah, I'll get the rug rod out of the trunk and expose this assclown's dome!
Carl: Yeah, I'll get the rug rod out of the trunk and expose this assclown's dome!