Rule 34N
Addendum to Rule 34 of the Internet, which states that if something exists, there is porn of it. Rule 34N simply adds that the time it takes to find porn of x is a function of the degree of mental-emotional distress you will encounter as a result of gazing upon said porn.
I invoked Rule 34 on scorpions last night. It took me three hours to find the porn, and a whole day of dry-heaving and washing my eyes out with bleach before I could get near my computer again. Next time I'll remember Rule 34N.