Rupon

Rupon is that Ravishing, Unbearably Phenomenal, Oompha-loompish Novelty that catches your eye when you least expect it. Rupon will always appear in some form of retarded and yet he is adept at making you a puddle with his smouldering eyes, bum-fuzz beard and man-breasts which he will insist are his pecks. However this absolute rippa of a man that looks like the offspring of Shrek and Donkey is beset by a primordial and perverted fixation on all things poo.

Legends forwarn: Hide your women and lock your bathrooms because when the moon is full, the primal form of Poopon will have been unreleased and his blood seethes as he thirsts for a fecal kiss. His common strategy is usually preying on chicks who are lactose intolerant and shower them with his cheesy flirting until they blast their guts out and alas, Rupon has finally been satiated.

Besides that, he’s a one-of-a-kind, marvellous and lovable chap that you ought to cherish and take pride in, like when you take an impressively massive dump that you had coming for a while and can’t help but admire.