SafeTGard twat
The one person who walks into the bathroom that is a total germophobe about toilet seats. So to subdue their fears, they use "SafeTGard" toilet seat covers, often leaving them there when they're done for the pending shitter to have to sweep off the toilet seat.
Husband walking out of the bathroom:
Wife: "Hey honey, did you have a nice shit?"
Husband: "Well, I would have if those damn SafeTGard twats would learn to clean up after themselves."
Wife: "Hey honey, did you have a nice shit?"
Husband: "Well, I would have if those damn SafeTGard twats would learn to clean up after themselves."