Salami vice
Having the grip of a silverback gorilla as a result of chronic masterbation.
*leans in for handshake*
Person #1: Ouch! Dude you have a serious case of salami vice.
Person #2: Sorry man, I have a problem.
Person #1: Ouch! Dude you have a serious case of salami vice.
Person #2: Sorry man, I have a problem.