Schrodinger's unconditional love
When your homophobic family members say they love you no matter what, except they don't know yet that you're gay.
Person 1: "Don't worry dude, I'm sure they love you unconditionally, they're your family."
Person 2: "Yeah but it's Schrodinger's unconditional love, because they're homophobic, and they don't know yet that I'm gay."
Person 2: "Yeah but it's Schrodinger's unconditional love, because they're homophobic, and they don't know yet that I'm gay."